November 3, 2009
Skipped school went to BBDC. Nervous. Tension. Whatever. Never knew life was so complicated till i turned 18. In another word, enter poly. The first 17years was easy, fun and never have to worry. If things dont turned the way I want then forget it. There's always alternative. But since entering to Poly I realised I cant. If Im not happy, then be it. Too bad for me. I cannot complaint nor harp at someone. It's too childish to do that. I have not have a real time of my own since Poly life start. Was always busy with things that I feel is unnecessary. Projects. Group Projects. Nevertheless, people who I cannot work with I also have to fit them in. I cannot literally leave them out. And there's time I wish They dont exist. Well, too bad, I start to harp on those nonsense stuff again. There's also people I wish that never leave me. But yet things happened the opposite way. So contradicting. I want those to stay left me. Those I dont wish to see them, they stay. Cool or what. I think is what. Not cool at all. Things makes me misarable these few days. I dont know how to explain, just feel there's something not right and something must be done. Yet, Im still here, statue. Doubt will have an answer real soon. Just pray real hard Tomorrow will be a good day for me. Just once and for all. EeeeeeKKK!!
In doubt of this. cool or what. I think I sucks to the core. I couldnt even decide what I want now. I dont know what im going ot do is fair or what. Im a failure to all. Be it a Student, Daughter, Sister, Friend or Partner. Never fails to make things worst. I dont know is you the one who is unlucky to have me or Im the one who should be happy then i get you as either of the category above. But now, I dont know what to do. Im in a maze. I want to yell and shout but I cant. I want to get out of this situation. I dont know if I got the guts to do so. But I hope it's just temporary. If I say it out maybe I will lose everything. But if I dont then Im not doing justice towards you. Just cannot get over. Fcuk it. Im not someone whom you people need.
♥ posted on 1:53 PM